Archive for the ‘BDSM’ Category

Copyright (c) 2011 – J. P. Barnaby
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“You know that this is an honor and a privilege,” Mistress Nicole commented as she unlocked Master Ethan’s home for me.  As I looked around the spacious living room, awestruck, she took in my expression.  “There is a bedroom on the second floor that you may sleep in, and there is also a den on that floor.  Clean the house once a week, and keep everything in order.  Unless you are cleaning, you are not allowed on the third floor, is that understood?”
 I nodded, still overwhelmed at being in his house, with his things, until he returned.  “If you cannot do this, Ryan, I’m sure that Sean would jump at the chance.”  She was just goading me now because she knew that I fucking hated that little prick. 
Master Ethan had requested Sean to train that fucker Jayden to be a Dom.  Sean, the name even sounded sneered in my head, had come back from his session with Master Ethan boasting that he had gotten fucked by both of them.  I could barely contain my rage until I returned to my room.  Why is it that he was allowed Ethan’s cock?  I had been devoted to Ethan for as long as I could remember.  Why couldn’t I have been selected?
It was unbelievable to me that I was here, in his house, with no one else around.  God, I could learn so much about him while he was in Chicago on vacation.  Of course, I’d heard about the whole Dominique and Claude nightmare, and knew he wasn’t really on ‘vacation’, but I’m sure that’s another story entirely.  The point was I could learn to be everything he wanted me to be, just like I was with Mistress.  My Mistress knew of my love for Ethan, which is why she allowed me this special privilege, knowing that I would be lovingly devoted to each and every task.
Once Mistress finally left, I went exploring. 
The kitchen was beautiful, but poorly equipped.  That would change when Ethan became my Master, because I was a wonderful cook, and would take pride in serving him in any way that I could.  Mistress loved my cooking.  I would have to teach Sean before I left.  As much as I wanted to be Ethan’s, my Mistress deserved to be looked after properly as well, she was a beautiful Mistress whom I adored.  
 Finishing with the first floor quickly, I bypassed the second floor altogether.  That is where I would be spending a majority of my time anyway; I could explore that whenever I wanted. 
With giddy anticipation, I entered Master Ethan’s bedroom.
It was beautiful, and uniquely Ethan.  The dark hardwood, the blue tones, the stark absence of anything truly personal, it rang true to the fact that everything that was truly Ethan was down in that room on the second floor.  This was just the place where he slept.  Running my fingers over the polished surface of his dresser, I scanned the room trying to decide where to begin.  Noticing that the closet door was tightly closed, I decided to start there.  I opened the door, and immediately the scent of Ethan was all around me.  My erection which had begun as soon as I entered this room, throbbed as I was assaulted by his fragrance.  Looking through his clothes, I found a soft cotton t-shirt, the exact color of Ethan’s eyes.  Quickly, I pulled it from the hanger, and ripped off my own shirt.  His shirt was a little big on me, but it felt perfect against my skin.  I wrapped my arms around myself, and hugged the material to me.  God, it felt like pure joy.
The smell coming from the t-shirt was good, but I bet his body wash would be even better.  Carefully, I removed the t-shirt and draped it across a nearby chair.  Removing the rest of my clothes, I walked naked into his bathroom, excited to see that all of his personal stuff was still there.  Apparently, in their haste, Ethan’s servants didn’t pack any of his things.  That’s why I would be so much better for him.  I certainly would have taken care of that, and anything else he needed.  Sighing, I turned on the tap and let the water warm up while thinking about what Ethan would look like, naked and showering.
Once the shower was hot enough, I got in, and stood under the spray letting it wash away any traces of Mistress Nicole’s essence, wanting to belong completely to Master Ethan now.  I took down his shampoo and washed my hair thoroughly, and then washed my body with his body wash.  The smell of him made me excited, almost giddy.  My cock throbbed again, but I refrained from stroking myself off in here. 
I wanted to wait until I could be in his bed.
Finishing up quickly, I grabbed a towel from the nearby rack and stepped out onto the bathroom rug.  I dried my short hair, and the rest of my body, thoroughly as I could, and then wadded the towel in my hand.  Taking a deep breath, inhaling the remnants of the scent infused steam, I walked back into his bedroom.  I could not believe that I had this opportunity; I certainly wasn’t going to waste it.
Pulling back Ethan’s blankets, I climbed naked between his sheets and lay down, letting the towel fall next to me.  His bed was soft, and cool, and my cock throbbed to think that Ethan was the last one to sleep here.   Rolling onto my back, I let the covers rest just up to my knees as I spread them wide.   I rubbed the insides of my thighs before moving my hands up over my hips, over my stomach to my chest.  Rolling my nipples between my fingers, I thought about being on my knees for him.  Ever since we were in college, I’ve wanted his cock in my mouth.  Each time I had begged Mistress Nicole, she reminded me of Ethan’s hard limits – but since he has a male sub, that must no longer apply.  As soon as I saw the blond fucker in the playroom, all of my fantasies about Ethan went through the roof.  He could do anything he wanted with me, and I would be thankful for it.  I would even be proud to wear his brand on my ass.
The thought of being branded by Ethan drove a jolt of pure sexual need through me, and I grabbed my stiff cock, stroking it hard.  Fuck, I wanted to be bound to the metal rack in his playroom, completely immobile while he stroked me. 
Oh God, he wouldn’t let me cum, but I would beg so fucking hard.   I stroked my balls, imagining his hands on me.  Thrusting up into my hand, I knew it wouldn’t be long now.   Fuck, I wanted to feel him inside me.
Rolling over to his side table, I opened a few drawers until I found what I was looking for, figuring he must keep a little lube here, most of the guys I know do.  Getting up on my hands and knees, I put a small amount of lube onto my fingers, and ran them lightly between my buttocks.  As I grasped my cock with the other hand, I leaned forward, pressing my face right into his pillow.  I turned my head slightly to the side in order to breathe just before I thrust my fingers into myself.   Crying out, I imagined him thrusting deep into me as I fucked myself. 
“Thank you, Master Ethan,” I moaned loudly, thrusting my cock into my hand.  Stroking myself with slow subtle movements, I tried to make the fantasy last.  I grunted and whimpered, almost able to feel his hips slapping against me, almost able to feel his legs pressing against the backs of my thighs.  Of its own volition, my hand moved faster.  Fuck, I wanted him to grab my hair and asked me how I liked his cock in my ass.  I wanted him to tell me I was his little bitch now.  Most of all, I wanted him to make me beg.
“Please, Master Ethan please may I cum,” I whined imploringly to my unseen Master.  “I need to cum, Sir, please.”  The pressure was building; he needed to give me his permission.
 Fuck, I needed to cum.  
Suddenly, he pulled out, and I grabbed the towel and thrust it underneath me.  Just seconds before I found my release, I heard him tell me to cum for him.   He wanted to see me shoot my load all over his bed. 
I came hard into the towel beneath me, crying his name over and over as each jet of semen landed on the coarse cloth. 
Finally, I was spent. 
Wiping my hands and my softening cock on the towel, I threw it onto the floor next to the bed and collapsed onto my stomach with my face still pressed against his pillow.  As I rolled onto my back, I reached down and pulled the covers up over me.
The last thing I felt was Ethan wrapping his arm around my waist before I fell asleep.

Copyright (c) 2010 – J. P. Barnaby
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Staying mad at Ethan just wasn’t an option for me.

Copyright (c) 2011 – J. P. Barnaby
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Ethan has been so uptight lately; I wish he would talk about what’s bothering him.  I didn’t know if he was having trouble with Gabriel, or if it was something else.  He just seemed so unhappy, closed off.  Lexi and I had talked about this a few times and I figured she had a pretty good idea of what was wrong; she was just so intuitive like that.  She could see right through me, I’m sure.  Lexi and I had talked a few times about the session tonight, and I knew she was looking forward to it.  It had been a long time since Ethan had been Master Ethan with her, and I know that she missed it.  He was her first Dom, and was important in her life.  Even though she was in love with me, she would still enjoy submitting to him tonight.  Then, after the session, he and I would talk, as he wished.  I didn’t know what he wanted to discuss, but I’m sure whatever it was would be easier if we were both relaxed. Nothing relaxes you like a good hard session.  God, I loved my sessions with him when I was his sub.  I had really started to miss that lately.  I missed the emotional and physical release I always got submitting to him.
Then it struck me.
I could give that to him.  I could give him that release. 
We headed up to the playroom, and saw that Connor was already positioned on the floor.  He was a good sub, but Lexi was really more into dominating him than I was.  Ethan had told me once that I was a natural submissive, now I really understood what he meant. He had trained me as a Dom, but really I wanted nothing more than to be naked and on my knees for him.  Ethan looked over at me for direction and I indicated that I wanted him naked on the floor next to Connor.  If he was gay and bottoming for both me and Gabriel, what I had in mind shouldn’t be an issue.
When Connor and Ethan were both naked and kneeling, I walked over to them and told Connor to greet me properly.  Like an overly enthusiastic puppy, he did just that, kissing from my bare feet as high as he could on my chest.  He stretched up, craning his neck to reach as high as he could.  I told him he was very good, that he had pleased me.  Then, I stood before Ethan and told him the same thing.   He was less than enthusiastic.  Distracted, he kissed up to just above my stomach.  I could tell that something else was on his mind, and considered stopping the session, but now more than ever I knew he needed that release. 
I told Lexi and Ethan to position themselves on the saw horses, Lexi looked at me surprised, as it was supposed to be her and Connor on the horses.  I asked her if she was going to safe word, or get on the horse, I wanted to get started.  Helping her position herself so that she was facing the other horse, I asked Connor which one he wanted to work.   Figuring he would choose Lexi, because it’s not exactly a secret that he has a thing for her, I was surprised when he chose Ethan.  Then, it dawned on me that Connor could not wield the paddle against Lexi.  I should have seen that coming, but I didn’t.  A little peeved that I wouldn’t be the one to give Ethan his release, I nodded at Connor.  He went back and got a paddle to use on Ethan, while I stayed with Lexi and Ethan.  Then, as Lexi and I watched, Connor paddled Ethan’s sweet tender ass.  I got hard watching.  Then, I saw Ethan’s face as he rested it against the padding of the horse.  He looked bored, no, not bored.  As his face came into better view, I saw that he was anxious, not bored.  His eyes were closed tightly, and he appeared to be grinding his teeth. 
He needed to relax.
I told Connor to get Ethan hard, knowing from experience that it would be easier on him if he were aroused.  Connor looked at me for a long moment; I couldn’t really discern the emotions that crossed his face.  Then, he got to his knees and went to work.  Ethan kept his head down, but as I watched his cock get hard, I knew he was enjoying Connor’s ministrations.  Then, I tossed Connor the lube, and he started to prepare Ethan. 
Several things happened at once then.
Lexi started squirming on her horse, it looked like she was trying to get out of her bonds.  She had the buzzer, all she had to do was hit it if she wanted my attention.  So, I kept watching Connor and Ethan.  Connor pressed his hard cock against the soft skin of Ethan’s ass, and Ethan moaned, pulling his head up to look at me.  When he saw me, his expression turned from surprise into blind panic in an instant.  I could not understand it
Then, he screamed.
The sound tore through me, and instantly, my heart started to pound in my ribcage.  He sounded terrified.  I couldn’t do anything, but watch.  He was screaming, begging me to stop Connor.  So panicked by the thought of bottoming for Connor, he couldn’t even remember his own safe word.   The words came out almost like choked sobs as he started to hyperventilate.  The tears in my eyes at the heartbreaking tone of his voice clouded my vision.  I told Connor to go to his mat so that Ethan would calm, but he continued to panic. Finally, I went over and cut his bonds away, expecting him to stay still.  Instead he fell off the horse in his effort to get away from me.  Me.  He ran to the front of the room and started to pull his pants on.  I could not understand what was happening.
I told him that I didn’t understand.  He was gay; he wanted to be with men.  Ethan had bottomed for me, for Gabriel.  Why the hell had he panicked like that?   Then, he told me the one thing that made it all clear.  He had never bottomed for anyone else, just me.  It crushed me when he threw in the term ‘willingly’, making it devastatingly clear that he was lumping me in with his abuser.  He felt that what I had wanted Connor to do was tantamount to what the monster had done to him.
I felt sick.
I tried to call him back, but he was gone.
I handed the knife to Connor to let Lexi loose, and headed for the stairs.  By the time I’d reached the bottom, he was gone.  He had gotten in his car and fled. He ran, from me. Looking down, I noticed that his shoes were still next to the door.  In such a panic that he wouldn’t even take the time to put on his shoes, I couldn’t imagine what would happen to him. Could he even drive, upset as he was?  If anything happened to Ethan tonight, it would be entirely my fault.  I would not be able to live with myself.
Slowly, I trudged back up the stairs to make sure that Connor had released Lexi.  As soon as I walked into the room she came over to me.  At first, I thought that she was trying to comfort me.  Then, her hand came back and she slapped me across the face.
“How could you do that to him?” she screamed at me, and I fell to my knees.  “He was raped for eight years, and you think it’s okay to just make Connor have sex with him?  Is this because of Gabriel?  You wanted to get back at Ethan because you’re jealous?  I never thought you would stoop to this.  I thought you cared about Ethan.” She never took a breath as she screamed at me.  I just sat there, on my knees, taking it all.  She was absolutely right.  I had just shattered Ethan’s trust in me, and most likely our friendship.  Now, I had nothing. 
I had absolutely nothing.
“I’m going to go look for him,” I said softly, and she pushed me back.
“You are going to stay right fucking here while Connor and I look for him.  The last thing he needs to see right now, is you!” she yelled.  Pulling myself off the ground, I went to the back corner of the playroom, the same relative corner where I had found Ethan in his own playroom when Lexi left.  I sank down against the wall, the tears finally falling.
My God, what had I done?
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and tried calling Ethan.  I was pretty sure he wouldn’t answer, but I needed him to know that I was sorry, that I cared about him.  Oh God, if anything happened to him.  The fear, and the guilt writhed in my stomach as I hit the speed dial.  His smooth voice came on as the voicemail picked up.  The phone hadn’t even rung.  I listened to his soft melodic voice as he went through the standard greeting.  Doctor Cullen sounded so calm and sweet on the phone.  It was strange the things that you think about when your heart is breaking.
“Ethan?  Ethan I am so sorry.  Please come home so we can talk?” I said into the phone without any real hope that he would.  First and foremost, I just wanted him to know that I was sorry for my horrific error in judgment. 
Nothing.
He didn’t call back; Lexi and Connor didn’t call to say that they had found him.  Nothing.  As the minutes turned to an hour, I felt like someone was squeezing my chest.  The panic was just paramount.  I loved him so much, I had only wanted to help him, and now he would hate me.  He would never speak to me again.  I called again, almost aching just to hear his voice.
“Ethan, we’re all coming to look for you,” I said softly.  It was a lie, of course, because I was grounded to the house and unable to look for him.   “Please just call one of us to let us know you’re okay.”  I practically begged into the phone.  He wasn’t going to call me, I knew that, but I just wished he call someone to let us know he wasn’t in a ditch. 
I put my forehead on my knees and covered my head with my arms.  Rocking back and forth, I didn’t let myself give in to the sobs that were threatening to burst from me.  Please let him be okay.  This is my fault. 
Then, my phone rang.
I opened it without looking at it.
“Hello?” I asked, my voice breaking.  I didn’t care who it was, as long as they had news about Ethan.
“Jayden, it’s Lexi.  Connor just called and let me know that Ethan is at Gabriel’s.  He saw his car in front of the house, but he wasn’t in it.  He must already be inside,” she said, and her voice was flat.  I could tell that she was relieved that they had found Ethan, but now her rage would turn on me.
“Thank you, Lexi,” I said quietly, but she hung up without another word.
I called Ethan again, this time for no other reason than just to hear his voice.  Ethan, Connor just called and said your car is at Gabriel’s. I’m so glad that you’re safe and with someone that cares about you. I’ll call you tomorrow.”  I dropped the phone onto the floor beside me, and started to sob in earnest.  Now that I knew he was safe, I could focus on my own overwhelming grief.  It could have been minutes or hours that I sat there.  So absorbed in my own sorrow, I didn’t hear the door open and was unaware that I was no longer alone until Lexi stood before me.
“You are I are going to talk, now,” she said, and I didn’t even bother to wipe the tears away before I looked up at her.  She sighed, and sat down on the floor next to me.  “Jayden, this jealousy has to stop.  You could have done irreparable harm to him tonight, just to assuage your own green fucking monster.  He is my best friend; he is your best friend.  How could you think that this would be okay?  How could you think that he would be okay with being tied down and fucked by another guy?  After everything he has been through, everything you have learned about him, you had to know that this would end badly.  Were you trying to push him away?  I don’t understand you Jayden.”  I nodded.  Everything that she had said was true.  I explained to her why I had thought he was bottoming for Gabriel and my logic for everything else.  As the explanation came out of my mouth, even I knew my logic was flawed.
When I was finished, she sighed.  “I don’t know what this is going to do to your friendship.  I’m not sure he will be able to forgive you.”  Standing up, she pushed my phone over to me with her foot.  “You need to explain this to him and apologize.  Oh, and from now on, I’m in charge in this room.  We will transition Connor to another Dom when we can, I think that you and I need to work on a few things.”  Then, she walked out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 
I tried to process everything. After this fiasco, Lexi had to know about my feelings for Ethan.  Ethan may not know, or understand, but I’m sure Lexi did.  I was also pretty sure I had just pushed Ethan right into Gabriel’s arms.  He would never trust me again, and he shouldn’t.  My own girlfriend didn’t trust me with a sub anymore.  I had failed them, I had failed myself. 
I picked up my phone again to make one last call to Ethan.
I tried to explain everything, what I was feeling, how I only wanted to help him, and what Lexi and I had talked about. Needing for him to understand, I told him that I was stepping down as a Dom, that I could not let my feelings or anything else get in the way of my judgment again.  My sorrow, my fears, everything came out into that voicemail.  It cut off just as I was begging for his forgiveness.  I would have done anything in that moment for him not to hate me.  I didn’t care about the playroom or any of these games anymore.  I just couldn’t stand the thought that he hated me.
Then, I sat the phone down on the floor and waited.  I had no intention of moving from that spot until I knew that the other half of my heart would be coming home.

Copyright (c) 2010 – J. P. Barnaby
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Someone who will care about him all the time?
 What did that little prick know about it?
 I was in love with the guy, all the time, not just when it’s fucking convenient.  It was threatening to destroy my whole life!  I was going to crush Lexi, disappoint Kimberly, and admit that I liked to fuck guys.  All for what?  A guy incapable of loving me back?
 Golden boy hasn’t been there for Ethan in fucking years.  He wasn’t there to pick up the pieces; he wasn’t there when Ethan really needed him.
 I was. 
Lexi was.
Presumptuous little ass, I thought as he followed Ethan up the stairs.  Fuck, the prick was probably going to break up with him, and I couldn’t stand to see him hurt like that.  I knew the little bastard was going to hurt him.  Lexi tried to grab my arm, but I pulled out of her grasp, stewing about it, and headed up the stairs a few minutes later.  I stood outside the door trying to gain my composure.  Then, I heard laughing from behind the door.  Things must not have been going too badly if they were laughing. 
Maybe I should just apologize.
I sighed, and turned the knob.
The sight in front of me stopped me in my fucking tracks.
Ethan was lying on his bed underneath Mike, his legs wrapped around the guy’s waist. 
They were kissing.
 My words died in my throat.  It hadn’t occurred to me until that moment that Mike and Ethan were having sex.  From Ethan’s reaction to our…our night together- I wanted to call it lovemaking, but I doubted he would see it that way- the way it took him back to that horrible time in his life. Never would I have thought he would ever want to do bottom again.  That night, I had tried to be as gentle as possible with him, to show him how much I cared about him.
 It was all a sham. 
This guy was fucking Ethan.
I apologized for disturbing them, not paying a whole lot of attention to where I was headed; I stumbled back down the stairs, and made it to my study so that I wouldn’t have to see them leave.  More than anything, I hoped that Ethan would come and talk to me before he left.  I don’t know why that small measure of comfort would have been so important to me.  Maybe I wanted to know that I was as important to him as that little bastard he was with upstairs.  Sitting in the leather office chair, I ran my fingers along the polished mahogany desk, not caring about any of it.  It was the finest furniture money could buy, but it could have been a folding table for all I cared at that moment.  The only thing that meant anything to me in the world was him, and he was about to walk out the door with another guy.
I heard the front door open and close.  He was leaving – without a word.  Why?  Why did I do this to myself?  Had I turned into an emotional masochist as well as a physical one?  I fucking hate this.
Grabbing the first thing my hands came across, I hurled the mantle clock out of the open study door where it exploded against the hallway wall.  Lexi came running up the hall to see what had happened, her face registering first shock, and then pain, at the clock lying in pieces on the hardwood floor.  At first, I didn’t understand.  What fucking difference did it make?  I had more money than God; I’d just buy another fucking clock.
“That clock belonged to my mother,” she said softly, the tears falling silently now.  All of a sudden, I felt sick.  I took off at a dead run, barely making it past Lexi and the clock in the hallway and out the back door before I threw up in the bushes.
 I was a fucking monster.
 Nothing in that moment could have prepared me for my own self-hatred.  I got on my motorcycle and sped as fast as I could away from the house, towards the lake.  Things like speed limits, or even stop signs didn’t concern me.  Weaving in and out of traffic like a man possessed, I finally made it to Navy Pier.  Parking my bike on the sidewalk, not caring if it was towed or even stolen, I walked aimlessly along the bike path.  Turning sharply to my left, I walked until I reached the end of the pavement at the water’s edge.  I sat down precariously, blissfully alone, and dangled my legs over the water below.
Lexi had to know how I felt about Ethan; I wasn’t exactly the best at hiding my emotions.  At some point, it would be too much.  My deception was going to break her heart.  Would she leave?  Would she go back to New York?  I couldn’t stand the thought of that.  Even though I didn’t love her in the way she wanted, even though I didn’t love her as much as I did Ethan, I did love her.
 I wanted the three of us to always be together. 
However, with my feelings for Ethan, his lack of feelings for me, and Mike now in the picture, I didn’t see how that could ever happen.
 I was being so fucking selfish. 
 If Ethan could be happy with Mike, I should let him be happy.  I’d made my choice.  In a blind fucking panic, because I couldn’t face the fact that I might be in love with another man, I couldn’t face that I was in love with my Dom, but most of all, I couldn’t face that I was in love with a guy that could never feel the same way about me. So, I had made a panicked declaration to Lexi.
Lexi loved me, I knew that.
I grabbed a hold of her love like a drowning man.  After my parents, and after the falling out with Rosalie, I needed to know that someone gave a fuck about me.  Now, I just didn’t know what to do.  It hurt so badly watching Ethan with Mike, like a searing knife through my chest. 
I could see it all playing out in my head.  Ethan and Mike at mommy’s brunch, holding hands and playing the token gay couple.  Ethan would fake a laugh at their stupid jokes, all the while staring blindly at his watch begging time to speed up.
Ethan deserved better. 
He deserved better than to be paraded out like some circus animal for his parents’ amusement.  Mike didn’t know Ethan, Mike wouldn’t understand that Ethan didn’t like that kind of attention.  I sat quietly seeing Ethan in my mind in front of the all of those people, how edgy he would be, how off balance. 
I hated it.
No matter how I was feeling about Ethan, my natural tendency was to protect him.  It made my chest ache to think of him being uncomfortable like that.  Grabbing my phone, I made a decision.  It was now just past five and I had to talk to Lexi first, so I figured I better make it later rather than earlier.  Hitting the keys on my phone, I sent him a text asking him to meet me in the playroom at nine o’clock.  A session would help him deal with his emotions after being with all of those people.
It was just after seven when I finally got back home, and my mind was on planning the session for Ethan.  It took a few minutes for me to realize that Lexi was standing in the doorway, calmly watching me with red rimmed eyes. I looked down at the floor, away from her face, feeling the guilt eat at me.
“Jayden, this has to stop,” she said softly, her voice almost pleading.  “It’s not healthy for you, or for him.  He is trying to heal, to find some measure of peace.  Mike is helping him.  You cannot fly off the handle when you see them together, no matter what you may think of Mike.  It’s hurting them, and it’s hurting us.”  Letting out a sharp huff, she turned.  Before getting completely out of the room, she added, “by the way, my mother’s clock is still in the hall.  You’ll need to do something with that.” 
I heard the front door slam as she left.
Staring at the empty doorway, my heart hammered in my chest.  I was screwing this up so badly.  I was letting them both down.  Pretty soon, neither of them would be able to stand me.  I’d be alone, and I would deserve every bit of it.  Just as I deserved Lexi’s anger, I deserved Ethan’s indifference.
I waited, huddled on the floor of the playroom for the time to pass, but it refused.  There were no clocks here, and the sun had already set.  Nothing was discernable with respect to time; I may have been sitting here for minutes, or for hours.  My eyes had traced over every piece of equipment here, imagining how best to utilize it with him.  Finally, they landed on the ottoman.  That piece had been a gift from Ethan, and it was one of my favorites.  He had used it with me, and we had both used it with Lexi. 
I was deceitful.
I was manipulative.
I was out of control.
Trying to quell the rising panic building in my chest, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time.  Oh God, it was just minutes before nine.  The panic took over, there was no way I would be able to Dom him in a session. 
More to the point, I wanted to be dominated by him.
I needed to serve him, please him.  I needed the structure, the discipline. Stripping quickly, I made my decision in an instant. My knees had just hit the floor as I landed in my position when I heard the knob turn.
Slowly, almost excruciatingly slowly, he made his way to me and knelt on the floor to look at my face.  I couldn’t contain the overwhelming panic, the devastating need I felt for him.  Trying not to let my voice crack, I begged him for Master Ethan.  We hadn’t had these roles for months, but I needed to give myself over to him now.
I felt his fingers in my hair, and I relaxed, closing my eyes.  His touch always had that effect on me; he excited me sexually, yes, but I felt safe and comfortable with him.  Tilting my face up to look at him, he asked me about the clock.  I answered in a whisper, ashamed of my outburst.  Then, he asked me if I should be punished, and I wanted to beg him, but I knew my place. 
I knew the game.
“If it pleases you, Master Ethan,” I said, almost calm under his influence.  He had me stand and hold onto the bondage frame, and when I was stretched, it felt good to exert myself.  Spreading my legs wide, so that more weight was forced onto my arms, I was almost hanging.  Listening to him move about the room, I waited.
Then, I felt the sting of the flogger and was grateful for it.  He whipped me everywhere, my back, my ass, my thighs, and my cock.  I presented each in turn, almost begging for him not to stop.  Then all too soon, it was over.
Binding my hands behind my back, he then tied my ankles wide apart to a spreader bar.  I suppressed any sound of surprise as he wrapped his arms around my waist.  Oh God, I could have stayed in that moment for the rest of my life and been completely happy, even if I was bound.  I wanted to let my head fall back on his shoulder, I wanted him to kiss me, and I wanted him to make love to me.
 It was eating away at me, knowing that he wouldn’t.  It would all be about the domination, about the sex, but I would have to take what I could get.  After helping me down to my knees, he grabbed that damned ottoman and set it in front of me.  Sensing what he wanted, I almost lay down over it, but I’m so glad I didn’t because he poured some of the silicone lube over my cock and began to stroke me. 
Fuck. 
I could feel him behind me, and I tried to hold back, to stay still, but I just couldn’t.  After a few minutes, I started pumping my cock shamelessly into his hand, and when I felt him kiss my neck and I nearly came.
His voice was low in my ear, the nearly painful need he had for me evident, as he asked me if I wanted him to fuck me.  Telling me that he was my Master, he asked if I wanted to please him and I nearly missed that small miracle when he called me his Jayden.  I wondered, as my breath caught, if he really understood how true that was, that I was his Jayden.
After pushing me over the ottoman, he lubed my ass.  Again, I shamelessly moved my hips pushing back against his fingers as my slick cock rubbed against the leather.  All I wanted out of life in that moment was for him to be inside me.
And then, he was.
As he slowly entered me, the realization that our arrangement would most likely end soon spread over my body like a hot, wet, blanket threatening to suffocate me.  I would lose even these brief moments of intimacy with him.  He would not see our sessions as intimate, but in my desperate need for him, that was the only way I could think of them.
 After all, it wasn’t me he wanted in his bed. 
Our one night of love making was just a failed experiment.  An experiment in which I’d found everything I had never wanted, and he found … nothing.  My throat burned as the tears that had been threatening to fall all day welled behind my closed lids; my emotions were always so much fucking stronger during these times when I opened myself to him – mind, body, and soul.
When I let his name escape, I was surprised when I received no admonishment for it.  Whimpering again as he drove harder into me, I felt my orgasm rapidly approaching.  The muscles in my legs began to tense, the burning, tingling feeling in my cock and my balls grew more pronounced.  Ethan made me feel things that no one else had made me feel during sex…ever.  At first, I had thought it was the submission, then I feared that it was just because he was a man, but now I knew – it’s because he was Ethan, and one day I would never feel like this again.  I would never be able to have this intimacy with him.  The tears streamed down my face as I heard him give me permission to orgasm. Trembling now with soft sobs as I rubbed myself against the ottoman, I tried hard to obey him and when my orgasm tore through me, I cried out as I came.  I not only heard, but also felt him follow quickly.  Turning my head, resting my cheek against the cool leather, I tried to get a handle on my churning emotions.
I failed.
As soon as he released me from my bonds, I fled, taking the stairs to the third floor two at a time in my haste.  I did not want him to see how truly upset I was.  Surely, he would ask questions that I did not want to answer, or even questions to which I had no answers.  Once in my room, I flung myself onto the bed and cried openly.  I cried for Lexi, because due to my cowardess, she would never truly find love.  I tried for Ethan because though he deserved it more than any of us, he was incapable of finding love. 
Then, finally, I cried for me and my selfish squandering of Lexi’s love in a fruitless dream of ever having Ethan’s.

Copyright (c) 2010 – J. P. Barnaby
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I sat in the booth, where I sat every single time our circle of ladies wanted to brunch.  Generally, I tried to keep up with the conversation, but today I was inextricably distracted.  My son, the boy I have loved his whole life, was sitting just ten feet from me for the first time in over a decade.  We had seen him at his college graduation, of course, but stayed well in the shadows so we didn’t ruin his special day.  Not that you would have known it was special by watching him accepting his degree.  He was like a machine that entire day, showing no excitement, no relief, no joy, just simply…existing.  It tore at me that even after all the time that had passed, he still wasn’t living.  I thought being away from Chicago might help, that’s why I didn’t really argue when he chose to go so far away for college.  That was only reason I was able to stand him being gone from us again. In his sympathy for us, the dean of Ethan’s college sent us regular emails on his progress – both social and academic.  Over the course of his time there, Ethan was an excellent student, quiet but extraordinarily bright – but had no social interaction with others.  He spent all of his time alone.
Now, he was here on some conference, apparently having lunch with a couple of co-workers.  At least he’s starting to interact socially with others.  That’s a step in the right direction.  I watched him and his two companions unashamedly, and was confused by their interactions.  The girl, a pretty brunette, kept putting her hand on Ethan’s as she laughed.  I felt a small stab of jealousy at this unknown girl because I had never been allowed to touch Ethan when he came back, not even to comfort him.  I had to wait until he was completely under to stroke his hair while he was sleeping.  So many times I sat watching, helpless, as he fought his demons while he dreamed.
I was thankful that I was sitting to his side and not his back so that I could at least see his profile.  I don’t know what he would have done if he’d seen me, but this way I could at least see him.  When he turned to his male companion, the blond whose back was to me, I nearly looked away so he wouldn’t catch me watching.  Then, something caught my attention, and I just couldn’t look away.
There was a light in Ethan’s eyes. 
As he laughed at his friend’s remark, I saw a shadow of the boy I had lost.  It reminded me forcibly of the night we’d received the call that Ethan had been found.
I hadn’t slept in eight years.  I couldn’t sleep.  My body just shut down periodically because it must, but I wouldn’t have called it sleep.  More often than not, I was closer to the waking dead.  It was on one of those nights when I lay awake, Ethan snoring beside me, that I tried to picture EJ in his baseball uniform.  The panic built when I couldn’t remember the finer details of the little red and white shirt that he wore.  My panic had started to accelerate into hyperventilation when the phone rang.  I looked over at the bedside table and saw that it was nearly two am. 
Oh God.  No.  Please. 
I reached for the phone, my hand shaking so badly that I nearly knocked it off the table.  Ethan’s arm slid around my waist, as he asked if I wanted him to answer it.  I brushed him off, and held the phone up to my ear.
“Hello?”  I greeted, my voice trembling.  Please, please don’t tell me that he’s dead, please.  I can take anything but dead.
“Mrs. Charity Hughes?” the voice requested.  He sounded young, and nervous.  They wouldn’t have put a rookie on the phone for a notification if he were dead, would they?
“This is Charity Hughes,” I responded automatically, and then thought to add “is this about Ethan?”  Please, let him be alive.
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and then without hesitation, knowing that I didn’t want to drag it out of him, continued.  “This is Officer Harris with the Chicago police, your son was found in Fleetwood, Colorado…“  I couldn’t stand it, so I interrupted him.  He hadn’t said your son’s body, but I needed to hear him say it.
“Is he alright?”  I asked softly, my voice cracking on the last word.
“Yes, ma’am, he appears to be uninjured.  He landed at O’Hare about twenty minutes ago, and is on his way to police headquarters.” 
“We will be there in fifteen minutes.” I told him after getting the address, and began to push Ethan out of bed.  He looked at me like I’d lost my mind until I said the one thing he’d been waiting eight long years to hear – “Our son is coming home.” After I relayed the content of the conversation, he didn’t need any kind of prodding.  We threw on the first things we could find, and raced down to the garage.  Thankfully, Ethan knew exactly where the police station was, and we were there in less than fifteen minutes.  I don’t think I’d ever seen Ethan drive so fast. Most of the time he buried his feelings deep, but it was clear, in this instant, that he was desperate to see his boy.
The steps to the station were full of reporters and cameramen as we nearly flew up them. They were throwing questions at me left and right as we tried to push through them. I just wanted them to get out of the way so I could see my son. Finally, one soft spoken woman told me quietly that Ethan wasn’t there yet.  The police escort from O’Hare was still a few minutes away. Ignoring the rude men trying to question us, I made my way back down to the center of the stairs, and waited.  When the vultures around me realized that I wasn’t going to speak, they quieted, until we saw the lights from the motorcade bringing Ethan.  I waited, not very patiently, for it to stop in front of the steps, and for them to open the back door.  He got out slowly, his eyes darting around him like a cornered animal.  Once he’d stepped out, one of the officers closed the door with a slam, and Ethan jerked and looked back. 
They led him up the stairs to me, and as he looked up I saw that my worst fears had been confirmed.
 My son was dead.
 The light in his eyes was gone, and he was merely just walking.  I stifled a sob, ran down the few stairs still between us, throwing my arms around him.  He stiffened, and tried to back away.  All of the flashbulbs started going off, and that’s how they got their perfect image of a boy and his mother reunited.  They had no idea he was trying to wrestle his way out of my arms.  We were led into the station where they wanted to question him about his abduction, and talk about how he’d escaped. My son was sitting off in the corner, not wanting to be with the rest of us at the table.  He had his knees pulled up to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. 
After a while, an elderly policewoman took me off to the side.  “We didn’t want to talk about this in front of your son, but we’re going to need to take him for medical attention.”
“They told us he was uninjured??” I asked, scared now.
“Your son was held by a sexual predator for nearly eight years.  It is possible that he could have contracted something, or need other kinds of help…” she said knowingly.
And there it was.
My boy, my innocent eight year-old boy had been raped repeatedly for years.
 Of course, I knew when I saw his eyes, but to have it laid out for me like that was unspeakably painful.  And from there, the pain only got worse.  They allowed Ethan to stay huddled in the corner as he spoke in a frighteningly detached monotone about his rescue of the small boy his abductor had tried to force him to take.  Ethan wouldn’t, or couldn’t, say his name, but he said he couldn’t let it another boy’s life be ruined.  When they asked Ethan about his own abuse he had refused to speak.   No amount of coaxing, threatening, or even bargaining, would get him to talk about it in any way.
After two hours, I told them it was enough, that we wanted to get Ethan home.  Just after five in the morning, we walked out of the police station under guard with our son by our side.  Soon, we were home, and EJ looked around curiously as we went through the foyer.  It was like our home, his home, was a place he had visited, but didn’t quite remember.  As we wandered from room to room, just my son and me, Ethan went upstairs to find him something to sleep in.  He was afraid that his presence might startle EJ – that anything was liable to startle him right now.  When we walked into the sitting room, something, hope maybe, flickered across my son’s face as his eyes fell on his piano.  In an instant, however, it was gone.  He sat down at the bench and very tentatively, very delicately ran his fingers along the surface of each perfectly polished key.  I made sure to keep this piano perfectly tuned and polished, waiting for this moment when my baby would come home.  It almost looked as if we wanted to play, his fingers bent slightly, reflexively as he traced the lines of the keys. 
I laid my hands on his shoulders, as I had done since he was old enough to sit at the piano. Tensing, he jerked forward away from me.  He must have heard my quiet surprised gasp because without turning around he said very quietly, “I…I’m sorry.  I just…I don’t like to be touched.”
It made me hate the bastard that took him that much more.  What could he have done to my son that would cause him to flinch like that at his own mother’s embrace?
Ethan brought down an older pair of sleep pants and a T-shirt for EJ to sleep in and I brought them to his room.  He was examining a model that he and little Gabriel from down the street had built the summer before he had disappeared.  When he saw me, he dropped it back onto the desk and apologized.
“Ethan, honey, this is your room,” I told him quietly, patiently. “Everything in here is yours.”  He nodded and took the pajamas into the bathroom to change.  I went to the closet in the hall and grabbed an extra toothbrush and other toiletries and towels.  When EJ opened the door in the too large clothes, he looked like a lost little boy, shell shocked, and terrified.  I handed him the stuff I’d brought him from the closet, and he make quick work of cleaning up.
When he crawled into his bed, the sheets still covered in rocket ships and planets, I asked him if I could stay for a while.  It looked like he wanted to argue, but finally just nodded and then rolled over with his back to me, pulling the covers almost over his head.  As he sobbed and whimpered in his sleep, pleading for it to stop, it was the first time in my life that I wondered at just how much further my heart could break.
My Ethan, the man that I hardly knew, now swatted his companion’s hand away from the check with a laugh. 
My Ethan had laughed. 
I don’t even remember the last time I had seen, or heard, that.  Then, as he turned to hand the check back to the server, our eyes locked.  Recognition dawned in his eyes, the eyes that were alive with something again.  As we continued to watch each other, I began to rise from the table.  Then, one of the servers passed between us, and the connection was broken.  He bolted for the door, as if he were terrified to be in the same room with me.  Choking back tears, I ran after him and out of the corner of my eye saw his shocked friends follow.  I didn’t care about them; I didn’t care about anything except the fact that I had caught up with him; my son was only feet from me.
Remembering that he didn’t like to be touched, but seeing that he let his companions touch him, I laid a tentative hand on his arm.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and then opening them again, looked at me.  I tried not to feel rejected by his attitude, but it was hard. 
“Ethan?” I asked softly, and he looked down into my face.  I smiled at him, just as his friends came barreling through the door, putting themselves between us.  In a way, I was gratified that he had found such caring friends, but I wasn’t going to let him leave without talking to me.  So, when they began to pull him away, I put my foot down.  I wasn’t going to let them take him away, not now.
“Ethan Hughes,” I said sternly, and he stopped, still looking at the ground.  For a moment, in my heart, he was that scared little boy again.  The blond haired man said that I was mistaken, that his name was Bryant and they were from out of state.  That floored me, like I wouldn’t know my own son.  I told him as much, and then I turned to Ethan and I wanted to ask him how he was, but the first question that popped out was how long he’d been here.  How long had we been in the same city with no call, no visit?  How much time had I lost with him? 
“A while,” he said in an expressionless voice, like he was just trying to forestall the inevitable.
Oh my God, he’d been living here.  He’d come back to Chicago, and probably never even thought about coming to visit us.  What kind of horrible mother was I that my own son runs from me, avoids me?  I tried to control myself by moving the subject to his friends.  Noticing how close they were, I wanted to know more about them.  How had they gotten through to him when no one else ever had?  The blond boy was Jayden, and the girl was Lexi.  They seemed very sweet, and the boy apologized for defending my Ethan.  He needn’t have bothered.  I took my son’s hand and asked him how long he was going to be in town.  He hedged for a moment and then admitted that he wasn’t sure, that he was staying with his friends and that he had stopped being a doctor.  There was something wrong, something terribly wrong, and I couldn’t let him leave without securing some kind of promise that I would see him again.  My heart ached at the thought that this would be the last time we saw each other.
Searching, trying to find something, anything, to get him to come to, I recalled Sunday brunch, maybe seeing his friend Gabriel would help, they had always been close as children. I blurted the invitation out, almost begging him to come, even telling him to bring his friends since he felt so comfortable with them.  If they were there, and we sat them near the alcove in the back, he might be more comfortable.  I would have done anything just to know that I could see him again.  Finally, he agreed, and he called me mom. 
It was everything I could do not to burst into tears. 
Not knowing if he would call and cancel, I thought this might be my one shot to tell him how I felt-I had to make sure that he knew, above all else that I loved him.  I loved him more than anything or anyone else in the world.  His face softened and I held my arms out, just like I used to when he was a boy.  Then, to my surprise he stepped forward slowly and wrapped his arms around me.  Kissing me lightly on the cheek, he whispered that he loved me too. 
He loved me. 
He hadn’t said that to me since before he was taken, and I had been waiting nearly twenty years to hear it.
I watched as he and his friends walked over to a little Volvo, and then I turned and found my car.  I’d call later and explain to the ladies where I’d gone.  Climbing into the driver’s seat, I made it just long enough for the door to close before I started to sob.  My little boy had come home. 
My Ethan, my EJ, had come home, finally, after all this time.
Even if he did not know it himself yet, for the first time since he was eight-years old, I had my son back.

Copyright (c) 2010 – J. P. Barnaby

“What were you planning on for today?”  Ethan asked from a nearby deck chair.  I thought about that for a minute.  I wasn’t ready to pack it in; I wanted to stay out on the water for a while.  The sight of him in those trunks was doing nothing to contradict that desire either. 
“I thought we could hang out on the boat today.  The girls were going to go out again, and this is nicer than hanging around the house.”  I told him with a grin.  Don’t get me wrong, I love our house, but my boat was special to me.  My parents had owned a boat when I was a child, and some of the best times I can remember having with them were on the lake.  I walked over to him with a beer from the galley refrigerator.  He patted the chair in front of him.  I stopped.  There was a perfectly good deck chair next to him, but he wanted me to sit with him?  I briefly considered what Lexi would think, but I knew that she was okay with whatever Ethan and I did.  Spending time with Ethan, making him feel included was important to Lexi, just as it was important to me.
I sat down in the lounger in front of Ethan, and leaned back into his chest.  We sat like that for a long while, just watching the water and listening to the waves slap against the side of the boat.  It was peaceful.  After a while, all I could focus on however, was the feel of his hard chest against my back.  I loved the feel of his warm skin against mine.  The feeling of his arms around my waist was comfortable, not awkward as I had imagined.  It was when his lips brushed the back of my neck that I knew the context of our positioning had changed.
“Do you want this?”  He asked me, as his fingers ghosted ever so softly over my stomach.  I nodded and turned my head capturing his lips with my own.   The kiss was soft, very sweet at first, but then deepened into something more.  As he moaned softly into my lips, I felt a strong pull in my stomach.  I turned my body slowly, being careful not to upset the chair and straddled his legs.   His hands moved from my back to my ass, kneading it gently.  That only made my erection that much more prominent against my swim trunks.    My hands went into his hair as I pulled myself closer to him.  His lips moved down over my neck, peppering the area just above my shoulder with kisses.  I moaned as his lips trailed down lightly over my chest.
When his lips locked over my nipple, I thrust my hips forward onto his.  His straining erection pressed against mine, and I thought I might lose all measure of control then.  Instead, I reached down with one hand and pulled my trunks down.  He released me for just a moment while I shed them and threw them onto the deck.  Nude, I let my hands trail down over his stomach, and he whimpered and I palmed his erection through his trunks.  Rolling his hips slightly, he rubbed himself against my hand as he continued to lick and suck my nipples.  I pulled his trunks down carefully, freeing his cock.  He lifted his hips, and within seconds his trunks were on the deck as well.  I moved down in the chair, and had just slid the head of his cock into my mouth when he spoke.
“Wait, Jayden.”  He said, getting up out of the chair.  I watched him walk over to a nearby locker and pull out a blanket.  He looked so fucking hot walking naked across the deck of my boat.  His grace and agility were present in every step.  I watched the muscles of his calves and he stood unfolding the large blanket.  Something twitched in me as I watched his biceps flex while he spread it out on the deck.  Then, he lay down on his side and winked at me.   At almost super human speed, I was out of the deck chair and lying next to him.  It felt so perfect to be lying here in the sun, nude with Ethan.    I kissed him again, gently, reverently, trying to convey to him something that I could not say.  I think on some level he may have understood, because he linked his fingers with mine.  The urgency had gone from the moment, and we explored each other with slow, controlled movements.   It was more about expression than animal lust now.
I turned carefully and rolled him on his back, my knees finding their place on either side of his hair.  His hands come across my hips, pulling me down and then his mouth is around me.  I moaned harsh and loud into his inner thigh as I rested my head there to steady myself.  Then I ran my tongue gently around the base of his cock, and up either side.  I feel the vibrations, but barely hear his moan over the sound of the waves.  Sliding my forearms under his legs, I reach up and pull them apart.  He moans again, and pushes his hips up in a silent plea.  The head of his cock is barely in my mouth when his hips move again, and I take him in deeper.   Teasing him, I run my tongue over the head over and over and his hands tightened on my ass, squeezing my buttocks.  I took him deep into my throat, and then he did the same.  It was an incredible feeling, pleasing him like this, while he sucked me.  Ugh, I wanted nothing more than to fuck his mouth, but that’s not what this was about today.  It was about expressing something that was between us.  As I felt his fingers massaging between my legs, I stroked his balls.  His hips came up slightly off the deck and mine bucked softly against his face. 
When neither of us could take any more teasing, we worked each other in earnest.  I gripped his inner thighs and bobbed my head up and down his length.  My moans and whimpers came faster now, with less control.  I could feel him losing control too; I could feel his cries around my cock.  Then, all of a sudden, it was just too much.  I pulled back and let him slide from my mouth.  I put my forehead on his thigh and just concentrated on the feeling of his mouth, his teeth, and his tongue.  He must have understood because he didn’t stop.  My sounds were free and unrestrained now.  As my orgasm just fucking exploded through me, my mouth opened in a silent cry.  I was so overcome by the feeling that I couldn’t get the sound out.  I came so hard into his mouth that I was reduced to panting by the time it had subsided.  I lifted my hips, allowing my softening cock to come free of his wickedly talented mouth and he pushed me down onto the deck.
I lay on the deck, my head resting on his leg for just a moment before I lifted myself up onto one elbow and resumed my oral assault on his cock.  Now he was the one with the unrestrained grunts and whimpers, and each sound just spurned me on.  “Yeah, fuck Jayden…  Just like that…”  He intoned while I hollowed out my cheeks and sucked him harder.  I wanted his orgasm to be as absolutely mind blowing as mine was.  I stroked him everywhere, I hummed, I pulled out every trick that I had learned from him over the years, and it worked.  After a few minutes, his hips launched themselves off the deck again and again as his cock was thrust into my mouth.  “Shit…  Fuck…  Uhhhh…”  He cried as he fisted the blanket at his side and his back arched.  I closed my eyes and let him fill my mouth, swallowing around his pulsing cock.    As he pulled himself from my mouth, he pulled on my arm so that I would move up and lie beside him.  The sun had been blocked by light clouds, so we lay side by side – cool, comfortable, and utterly content.
*   *   *
I was awoken by a low moan just behind me, and for a moment I was disoriented.  I finally realized that we were on the boat, and that we were lying on the deck.  I felt him, naked and hard, pressed against me from behind, his arm thrown casually around my waist.  He was still moaning softly, and I heard my name interspersed as well.  I chuckled quietly.  Then his hand moved down and he was rubbing my hip gently with his fingers.  I closed my eyes and felt myself getting aroused by his touch.  My hips ground back against him in response.  He captured my burgeoning erection in his hand, and then I knew he was awake.  Slowly, almost lazily, he stroked me.  I reached back and pulled his hips hard against me as I rocked into his hand.   He released me and rolled away for just a moment.  By the time I started to roll to see where he’d gone, he was back.   I heard the snap of the bottle lid, and felt his fingers in me.   I pulled harder on his hip, almost begging him to continue.
He reached down and pulled my leg up, and slid into me in one motion.  I kept my hand on his hip, stroking his skin, keeping that connection between us as his hips began to move.  Then, his lips were at my neck.  He was kissing me as he took me gently from behind.  It wasn’t rough or urgent, but sweet and sensual.  I arched my back and pushed my head back onto his shoulder.  He kept his lips at my neck, kissing it, moaning into my skin. 
“Stroke yourself, angel, I want you to cum with me.”  He said and his voice was almost crooning in its seduction.  I reached down and using the slick liquid already seeping from it as lubrication, stroked my cock.  I moaned his name as he slid his other arm beneath me and wrapped it around my chest.  I tightened my hold on his hip, and we held each other firmly as we rocked against each other.  My climax was already starting to build.  The emotion of our love-making heightened the physical pleasure of the act just that much further.    I stroked my cock in time with his increasingly hard thrusts into me. 
“I’m so close, Jayden.”  He cried suddenly in my ear, and the sound was like an electric pulse in my stomach.  “You’re so fucking tight like this…  I can’t…”
“Fuck me…  Yeah…  Fuck me harder…  I’m almost there…”  I groaned, and he pulled my leg back over his and let go, his arm wrapping around my waist.   He held me tight in his arms as his thrusts became harder, more erratic. 
“God, Jayden…  Oh God…”  He murmured into my shoulder, and then I felt him bite my shoulder sharply as his motions became rapid and jerky.  Then he pulled me bard against his hips and he groaned loudly as he came.  The small pinch of pain, coupled with the feeling of him buried inside me caused me to stroke hard and fast until I felt myself shooting jets of semen onto the blanket in front of me.  Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me as he started to pull out and I felt that extra sensation adding to my orgasm, prolonging it. 
I leaned back against him and felt him panting into my neck.  It was one of the most erotic, most beautiful experiences I’d ever had.  I reached up and put my hand over his on my stomach as he kissed my shoulder where he’d bitten. 
“Wow…”  Ethan murmured into my neck.
“Wow, indeed…” I replied and squeezed his hand.
Copyright (c) 2011 – J. P. Barnaby
When I walked naked into the playroom, where Ethan had instructed me to be, my attention was drawn to the two bound boys. A bar was hanging from the suspension pulley, and one boy was bound to each end by his wrist. Neither of them was really struggling, but they were both barefoot, clad in jeans and t-shirts, and blindfolded. It was then that I noticed Ethan sitting on one of the nearby padded tables, waiting for me. He winked before walking over to stand next to the slighter boy on the left whose brown hair framed his face perfectly, and I found that I wanted to run my fingers through it, as Ethan was doing. While he rubbed the front of the kid’s jeans, he talked softly to him. Then, he moved over to the darker haired boy, and rubbed his nipples though his light t-shirt as he spoke to him. I couldn’t hear what he told either boy, but when he moved back over to me, both had raging erections that were clearly visible through their denim.
“I have a present for you, angel,” Ethan said to me, his voice soft and seductive, his lips so close to my ear that his warm breath made me shiver slightly. “Their Mistresses said they could come and play with us for the afternoon. This one,” he indicated the boy on the right, the black haired boy, “even came with instructions from his Mistress.”
They were both beautiful, from what I could see of their faces behind the black leather blindfolds. Stepping forward to the thinner boy, I rubbed his chest through his t-shirt. The nipple piercings surprised me, but I kept running my hand over his chest. He relaxed slightly under my touch, so I leaned closer, putting my lips just an inch or so away from his ear.
“What is your name, boy?” I asked quietly. He inclined his face towards me, as if he were trying to see me through the blindfold covering his eyes.
“Johnathan, Sir,” he whispered. “John,” he said quickly, correcting himself. Moving my hand up to his cheek, he pressed his face against my palm, but my smile went unseen as I backed away and moved to the other boy.
This one was slightly taller, with a stronger build. His black hair was short and straight, his complexion darker than the first boy. As I ran my fingers over the second boy’s chest, he let his head fall slowly back and moaned.
Running my nose slowly up his neck, just barely touching his skin with my own, I murmured. “tell me your name.”
As he drew in a sharp breath, he pulled his hands forward only to be stopped by the cuffs. It looked like he wanted to touch me, but of course, he couldn’t. While I waited for a response, I pinched and rolled his nipples under his t-shirt.
“Brandon, Sir,” he said shyly.
Ethan drew my attention back to the first boy. “this genius went onto the internet and talked about coming to play with us. He said we should ‘make it good’,” Master Ethan said, whacking the boy’s ass with a strap, punctuating each of the last three words. The boy cried out, and I told him to shut up. The denim was absorbing the fucking blows, just wait until we had him naked. We would make it so good; he might not be able to sit for a while.
“Strip the insolent one,” Ethan commanded as he went over to Brandon, speaking to him sweetly as I grabbed the collar of John’s t-shirt with both hands. I pulled hard and heard not only a satisfying rip as the shirt tore down the middle, but also a surprised gasp from the still blindfolded boy. His now bare chest rose and fell rapidly. Next, I tore his shirt sleeves, destroying the t-shirt before it fell uselessly to the floor.
Then I noticed the tattoo.
A beautifully intricate design traversed the length of his torso along his right side from the top of the ribcage down into his jeans. Very slowly I traced the lines and curves of it with my finger, and he shivered. Reaching down, I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans before jerking his remaining clothing down to his knees. His cock sprang up, bobbing lightly as I pushed the jeans and briefs the rest of the way down.
“Step out of them,” I commanded, and he lifted his feet one at a time, freeing himself from his clothing. I grinned wickedly as he squirmed in his bondage, as if he could hide his charms from me.
He now stood naked before the Master.
Master Ethan carried the leather flogger over to the naked boy and stood behind him. He winked at me before swinging the implement and striking the boy on the ass. John jerked, and emitted a low grunt as the pain radiated through his skin. The next three blows came in quick succession, and he was whimpering after the third. Brandon was trembling, assuming he would be next. When I went over to calm him, I touched his arms, and he jerked violently away from me.
“Shhhhh… It’s alright, sweet boy,” I said quietly to him as I removed his blindfold. “Is that better?” Nodding slowly, he took a deep shaky breath, and this time, when I put my palm against his cheek, he leaned into it rather than away from it.
“That’s it, no one is going to hurt you,” I told him. “We are just going to have a little fun and then your Mistress will come to get you, okay?” He nodded again, this time with a little more enthusiasm. “You remember the safe word?” I asked, just to be sure.
“Yes, Sir.”
I turned around to watch Master Ethan working John, his ass and upper back were now a nice shade of red, and he was hanging from his wrist restraints, shaking. Master had turned him so that Brandon and I could see better, and rubbed the boy’s ass with his large hands. The boy moaned, and spread his legs apart, trying to get better footing.
“Get him down and strip him,” Master Ethan told me, indicating to Brandon while he started to untie John. I pulled the ropes binding the boy’s wrists to the bar above his head, and he lowered his hands, still bound to each other. Surprisingly, he got slowly to his knees in front of me with a quiet, reverent, “thank you, Sir” before kissing both of my bare feet. He held his hands up to me, and I untied them. Gratefully, he rubbed his wrists, still kneeling quietly on the floor. Learning over, I grasped the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head revealing his tanned muscular chest. I had absolutely no doubt that he would be a beautiful sight nude, and I would find out soon enough.
“Brandon, stand and get naked for me,” I told him in a stern voice. As he rose to do what he was told, my attention was caught by John, naked on his knees with his hands laced behind his neck. He was sucking Master Ethan’s cock, for all he was worth, as it drove in and out of his mouth. The combination of his soft moans and noisy sucking sounds were making me fucking hard.
When I turned back to Brandon, he was naked, and standing off to the side. He was shifting his weight from one foot to the other, obviously at a loss as to what to do.
“See what your friend here is doing?” I asked him with a smirk, and he nodded. “I want you to do the same, on your knees, boy.” Quickly, he knelt before me, and with his fingers laced behind his neck, he took my cock into his mouth with enthusiasm. The strained groan left my lips without any conscious thought as his tongue ran lightly over the sensitive head.
“Have you ever sucked cock before, boy?” I asked him, trying not to blow my fucking load. God damn, he was good. Moaning, he nodded very slightly. Well, that explained why my fucking balls were tingling after just a few minutes. My head fell back as I grabbed his short black hair, driving my cock deeper into his mouth. “Yeah, just like that, take it all,” I groaned as he took me deeper. He sucked hard, almost as if he wanted to suck the cum right out of me. The flat, rough of his tongue pushed hard against my sensitive skin, just adding to the sensation. Just as Master Ethan pulled out of his boy’s mouth, I grasped Brandon’s hair, and pulled him back. Thank God, or I would have cum right down his little throat.
“I want to see them suck each other,” Master Ethan said with a sly grin, and I waited to see exactly what he had in mind. He left John kneeling where he was and pulled over a low platform covered in leather, but didn’t look padded. It was about four feet square by about two feet tall. He called for John to come to him, and crawling on his hands and knees, the boy complied quickly. Forcing the boy to lie on the platform, he then called for Brandon. He made Brandon get on all fours over John so that Brandon’s legs were on either side of John’s arms, and Brandon’s arms were on either side of John’s legs. Then, Master Ethan bound them in that position. He tied John’s wrists to Brandon’s ankles and John’s elbows to Brandon’s knees and then continued to do the same with Brandon’s wrists and elbows. We stood back and watched as they struggled, but there was no point.
“Well, boys, are you waiting for an invitation? Suck the cock in front of you,” Master Ethan instructed harshly, and I thought that maybe the boys were strangers because they were shy all of a sudden. Then, Brandon responded first, capturing John’s cock in his mouth. He bobbed his head back and forth, sucking the boy as John tried to do the same. John was having a hard time capturing Brandon’s cock in his mouth without the use of his hands. Finally, I took pity on him, and directed the boy’s cock into John’s mouth. Then, John made up for his failure by sucking Brandon enthusiastically.
It was fucking hot to watch.
There was nothing either boy could do but obey, bobbing, and sucking as we stood back monitoring them. Then, Master Ethan tossed me a condom and lube.
“This is your present, my Jayden,” Master Ethan said as he stroked my hard cock. “Which ass would you like?” I looked back to the boys, and decided that I did not want Master Ethan to have to kneel to take one of the boys, so I chose the one lying on the platform, John. Master nodded and bid me to remove his clothes, which I did gratefully. As much as I liked watching these boys trying to serve him, he was my Master, and it was my job to fulfill his needs. Quickly taking off my own clothes, I knelt next to the boys, my aching cock in line with the boy’s ass as he lay on the platform. Master Ethan stood behind the other boy, putting his hands on Brandon’s hips.
Forgoing my own pleasure for just a moment, I watched as my Master slid his hard cock into the sweet black haired boy. Master groaned but it was almost drown out by the boy as he whimpered around the hard cock in his mouth. After preparing my cock for the boy before me, I slid it up and down between his soft buttocks, the head grazing his tight little hole, getting him slick for me. Then, I pushed forward and felt my cock penetrate him, slowly entering his ass. He was hot, and tight, and it just felt so fucking good. Taking his slim hips in my hands, I found a nice rhythm, and fucked him hard. I loved to listen to his little grunts and cries around the other boy’s cock in his mouth.
Master Ethan and I fucked the boys hard, and delighted in their struggles.
Very soon, however, I felt that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, and I begged Master Ethan for my orgasm. He stalled, making me wait, making me hold out until he was ready. I recited every professional team I could for every city I could think of as I worked to hold off my orgasm. Finally, Master Ethan was ready.
“Cum hard for me Jayden, cum on that pretty boy’s face,” he said, his voice strained. His cry was more akin to a growl as he drove hard into Brandon and held himself there. The boys had stopped sucking each other, and I could hear their cries plainly as I drove my cock hard into John. My grunts were harsh and animalistic as I quickly pulled out and tore the condom from my cock. Pumping hard and fast, I looked down and saw that Brandon had closed his eyes. That was good, because before I could speak, my cum had begun to erupt from my cock to land on his face.
The hot erotic sounds that came from Master Ethan just drove me on as I continued to pump my cock with my hands in the boy’s face.
Finally, I was spent. I looked down and saw the thick white globs of semen on his nose and cheeks and smiled.
What a good boy.
Presenting my cock to him, Brandon opened his mouth and cleaned me, licking every inch before I pulled out again. I was most impressed with his subservience; I had to remember to congratulate his Mistress on his training.
Standing, I looked to Master Ethan and he asked me to get something to clean them up. Just as I got to the door of the playroom, it opened, and two beautiful women walked in. The first, had shoulder length brown hair and beautiful eyes, dressed in a black skirt and thigh high black leather boots. The other was taller with short auburn hair and a kind smile. This one, the kinder one, must be Brandon’s Mistress, I could tell by her quiet authority. She was the one who had given Master Ethan, one of the best trainer Doms anywhere, instructions on how to care for her submissive. I respected her for that.
I nodded to the women as I passed and jogged to the bathroom. It didn’t take me long, and I returned with two warm, wet washcloths, and two soft dry towels. The women were teasing Master Ethan about getting their toys all dirty while he untied the boys from each other. John stood and walked to his Mistress, waiting quietly by her side. Brandon, on the other hand, stayed on his hands and knees and upon reaching his Mistress, kissed her feet which were exposed by her sandals. She took the wash cloth from me, and carefully wiped his face while the other Mistress simply took the other and handed it to John.
“Jayden?” Brandon’s Mistress asked with a smile. “Could you hand me that lube near your feet?” I looked down and saw the bottle she had indicated and picked it up.
“Were you a good boy for Master Ethan?” she asked Brandon as he knelt before her.
“Yes, Mistress Michelle,” he answered, and the respect and devotion to his Mistress obvious in his voice.
“Very good, Brandon,” she said softly, pulling him to his feet. She grasped his hips lightly to turn him around. She poured a small amount of lube onto her hands, and wrapping her arms around his slim waist, she grasped his hard cock in her slick fingers. After realizing what Mistress Michelle was doing, the other woman followed, taking the lube from Michelle, and asking John if he had been a good boy as well.
“Yes, Mistress Renee,” he said softly, looking quickly to Master Ethan who nodded, chuckling. She poured a little lube on her hands, and wrapping her arms around his waist, began to stroke his cock as the other Mistress was doing.
Soon, the room was filled with deep moans, and soft whimpers from both boys as their Mistresses stroked their hard cocks. Brandon reached his peak first, begging his Mistress for permission to cum. She reached down with the hand not stroking his cock, and pulled lightly on his balls. He nearly whined, begging her again. Finally, she whispered something in his ear, and he cried out, his head falling back onto her shoulder. Increasing her pace, she stroked him hard as his hips moved to fuck her hand. Releasing his balls, she grasped his cock with both hands, and pumped him while twisting her palm over the head. When she moved her palm, he came with wild cries all over our hardwood floor. Semen pulsed out of his cock as she continued to pump him, his body shaking as the last traces of his orgasm faded, and after a long moment, she stopped stroking him.
Turning his head slightly to the side, he kissed her lightly on the cheek. “thank you, Mistress,” he panted, burying his face in her neck. When I looked over, John had cum as well, and was kneeling at his Mistresses feet. His face was pressed against her bare thigh, and she was stroking his hair affectionately. I walked over and stood next to Master Ethan who put his arm around my waist and kissed me lightly on the temple.
Mistress Michelle looked at the other women who smiled. “Well, Renee, it looks like we’re the only ones in the room who haven’t had the opportunity to get off today,” she said with a grin, leaning over to take Mistress Renee’s face in her hands, kissing her deeply. Something in me stirred as I watched their tongues dance lightly as they kissed. It was so fucking erotic to watch two women like that. Fuck, it was almost enough to make me hard again.
Mistress Renee looked down at her submissive on the floor and asked, “Are you boys ready to go home and please your Mistresses? You aren’t quite done with your service today.”